Agented with an "atypical" story? Prologues, dual timelines, and more

Hello all! By now, my agent announcement is live, and I continue to be in shock over the whole thing. If you are looking for an in-depth "how I got my agent" post, you can find that here. 

This week has been quite heavy, and oftentimes continuing with other things feels sad and strange. However, I've realized writing (about craft or my stories) has helped me focus my energy in moments of heartache. I hope you are holding yourself in care, and allowing yourself grace as your focus your energies in ways you feel are productive. 

Today's post is focused on something a bit different. I did want to discuss my querying journey within the context of an "atypical" story. 

The manuscript I got my agent with included:

• dual timelines/a non-chronological story structure 
• a prologue
• a tense and POV shift in the climax

And, in addition to all those choices, this manuscript was:

• a literary/speculative genre blend
• a story that despite its hook-y premise (spirit-medium during the apocalypse!) is fairly quiet, and spends most of its time reveling in grief and sadness. Not exactly the sexiest of premises for the current times. 

Now, I don't claim that any of the above is unique. It's not. There are plenty of novels that feature one, or all the above qualities. As a querying writer, however, I was aware that each of these choices meant I was taking a risk. 

A risk? What do you mean?

For querying writers in the know, we are told to make sure we aren't giving agents extra reasons to say 'no'. Essentially, any potentially "controversial" writing choice is a risk. Prologues are notorious for eliciting strong feelings. They can start your story off at the wrong place or mess up pacing. Some agents and editors hate prologues (I queried an agent, and then read an interview in which they discussed how much they despised prologues, hah).

A dual timeline also poses potential problems. One timeline can outshine the other, risking a reader feeling much less invested in one versus the other. Pacing can be clunky or confusing. 

A POV and tense shift anywhere in the story is a bit of an odd choice. It interrupts the reading experience and draws reader attention to the text in a way it wouldn't otherwise.

Then why did you do all of these things?

The very short answer is: because it's what felt right. I do want to affirm for concerned querying writers it is possible to do these things and get agented. However, I want to emphasize intentionality in making these choices for your story. 

During my initial revisions, I rewrote the first third of the manuscript in a linear/chronological order and eliminated the dual timeline. This was important for my revision process, because it allowed me to identify a few things:

1.    The story became less interesting when told in a linear fashion

2.    My timelines were focused on the wrong time periods.

3.    The timelines did not have equal weight, and that needed to change

I know it's a lot of work, but it was only possible for me to figure these things out by attempting to write my story in a linear way. If you are in the same boat, I encourage you to do the same. Hopefully, it will tell you whether or not the story structure you've chosen serves the story or not. Beta readers and critique partners will also be able to validate this for you. Do they like the dual timeline structure? Do they feel like the timelines are interacting and advancing the story you are telling?

 This also made writing my query letter a bit tricky. I ended up choosing to focus the query letter on one timeline (the most present one) with allusions to the past timeline. In my metadata paragraph, I also referenced the dual-timeline nature of the narrative so an agent wouldn't be surprised.

And after all of that, you decided to add a prologue?

 Yep. The prologue ended up being quite short (a little under 900 words) and features the character you follow for the rest of the story. However, it served to focus reader attention from the get-go. 

It's a quiet scene between the protagonist and her mother. In this moment, you are introduced to some key worldbuilding aspects of the MC's spiritual abilities, and her relationship with her mother. Because of the dual timeline structure, chapter 1 starts without the mother character. I wanted the prologue to signal to the reader very clearly: this relationship is the core of this story. Not the ghost stuff. Not the apocalypse. But this. 

I decided the prologue was something I was willing to eliminate if I received lukewarm responses during querying. However, I received 2 quick full requests which confirmed that the prologue wasn't stopping interested agents from requesting. 

Then what about that POV and tense shift?

Almost my entire MS is in first person past tense from the protagonist's perspective. The protagonist is a spirit medium, and most of the story is filtered through her. All the language we are supposed to typically avoid? (e.g., felt, saw, heard...) All of it was fairly common in my MS because the reader is getting the experience of a spirit/ghost as filtered through the protagonist. 

Then, in the climax, the story shifts to first person and second person present tense. The protagonist "merges" with a specific spirit and the narrative needed to be much more immediate. This was also a decision that survived after my first draft. I tried eliminating it, and the climax immediately felt less impactful. There was also a reveal with the second person (who is the "you" the protagonist is referring to?)

Ultimately, things fell into place for me, and I am so so so grateful for this (we know there is a good bit of luck in querying, in addition to all of the blood, sweat, and tears too). I don't want this to simply read as "if I can do it, so can you! Screw all the rules!" Querying is hard and querying a story you know is intentionally going against the grain is even harder. My only advice is to write what feels right, but also be very critical of the choices you are making. Am I doing this just to do it, or does it serve the story in a way that nothing else can? Again, I also experimented with re-writing the end without doing all of the tense and POV stuff. It again allowed me what worked, and what needed to be tweaked.

TLDR Summary 

• When I was unsure of my choices, I rewrote sections of my novel without them (e.g. in normal chronological order, without a tense shift...) It may seem like a wasted revision, but it helped me identify the strengths of my choices.
• Prologue: I asked myself, is this absolutely critical? Does it setup my story to the reader in an interesting way? Is it as concise and short as it possibly can be?
• Dual timeline: What did I gain and lose from a linear storyline? Do the timelines interact with one another that make the reading experience more enjoyable?
• POV/tense shifts: can I answer 'why' I made this choice? Does it add to the narrative? Is it distracting or does it amplify the intended effect of the scene it's written in? Do my readers agree?

Anyway, this is getting a bit long. I will end with the query that got me my first agent offer (a caveat being that it changed in the middle of my querying, so some agents who ultimately did request/offer had an older version of my query). 

If you are currently querying, I’m sending all my love to you. It's tough, and even more difficult to navigate the different advice that gets thrown around. Everybody's journey is different, but please write the story that feels most authentic to you.

Cheers!

Hien

 

---

I am querying you based on your interest in both atmospheric ghost stories and intergenerational sagas. SHE WHO GAZES UPON THE DEAD is an adult literary speculative fiction complete at 72,000 words. Told over dual timelines, it will appeal to readers who enjoyed the ancestral mystery of FOLKLORN by Angela Hur and the apocalyptic immigrant ruminations of SEVERANCE by Ling Ma. Inspired by the role spirit mediums played in the aftermath of the Vietnam War, this is an imagining of the end-of-the-world where people join each other in care instead of destruction.

Begrudging spirit medium Lucky Le’s foolproof plan for surviving the post-apocalypse is simple: harbor alone in her abandoned suburban McMansion miles away from the nearest homestead of survivors. Her mother always demanded she ignore the voices when she heard them, but that’s now impossible with so many dead. Only for clients willing to pay the high price of food and resources will Lucky use her loathsome powers.

Lucky’s fierce avoidance of other people is upended when a mysterious boy named Peter arrives asking for a spirit map to locate his sister. Peter has nothing to pay Lucky with, and she intends to briskly reject him. However, the object he’s brought to conjure the spirit-map stops her: a ring that once belonged to the father that left Lucky’s family a decade ago. Suspicious Peter is her half-brother and certain her father left because of her abilities; Lucky is tempted to find answers through Peter’s request.

Following a confusing route conjured from the spirit map, she and Peter journey from the mountains of Colorado to the prairies of the Midwest. Lucky grapples with the painful history of her inherited abilities and untangles a dark truth that spans from the Mekong Delta to the American Midwest. When Peter disappears just as mysteriously as he arrived, Lucky is forced to face her darkest fears: the unguarded truth from the family she's lost. She considers running away once more. No one, spirits or secrets, can haunt her when she’s alone.